Here is what he says:

The Direct Marketing sector regards the telephone as one of its most successful tools. Consumers experience telemarketing from a completely different point of view: more than 92% perceive commercial telephone calls as a violation of privacy. Telemarketers make use of a telescript - a guideline for a telephone conversation. This script creates an imbalance in the conversation between the marketer and the consumer. It is this imbalance, most of all, that makes telemarketing successful. The EGBG Counterscript attempts to redress that balance. Good luck!

And so it does. Mr. Englebregt's Counterscript is a flow chart with space to fill in answers to questions like: "could you spell your name for me?" "could you tell me how you got this number?" and "how long have you been in the telemarketing business?" It culminates in a query about the brand of toothpaste the agent uses, with a space for you to fill in the agent's contact information in case you have follow up questions.

Mr. Engelbregt has even prepared a contingency for uncooperative agents. If the agent keeps trying to ask you questions, you can say, "I'm sorry, this information is not available right now. Can we continue now Mr/Ms. ___?"

It's fun to think about terrorizing the people who call you during the dinner hour. There was an episode of Seinfeld in which Jerry gets a telemarketing call as he's walking out the door. He asks the agent if they could give him their home number so he could call them back at a more convenient time. They say no, of course, and the punchline -- "Oh, you don't like people calling you at home? Now you know how I feel" -- brings big canned applause.

I remember getting a call soliciting vinyl siding once. I decided to act like a nut. I'm not sure what I said anymore, but I do recall howling "noooo!" into the phone a couple times and hanging up. The agent called back immediately, and as she was saying "I'm terribly sorry, sir -- I think we were accidentally disconnected," I could hear her co-workers giggling in the background. We all get bored sometimes -- whether we're making the calls or receiving them.